The Rogue Voice


October 01, 2007

Tiger wins again!

The black dude turns to me, headset on his neck. ‘What’cha wanna watch, pops? Faggots cookin’ fo’ bitches? Or Tiger?’

‘This ain’t no country club for white bitches. This here a gym!’

By Talmadge Jarrattee

I’ve just paid $10 to work out in a gym in an exclusive area of Marin County after a night of boozing in the city with my pal Rocco, and I want my money’s worth. My gym down in Santa Cruz costs only $25 a month, and that’s because I know the owner and get a deal. This gym is a high-end compound, impersonal, its members head-phoned zombies, eyes averted or preoccupied, as if suffering under a malaise and belonging in some rehab facility for the guilty rich. At my gym, people are familiar with one another, stop to chat or at least nod hellos upon passing, creating an intimate, healthy vibe.
I have a problem. At my gym there is one remaining bike that is simply operated by hitting two buttons and arriving at a level and pace which I ride nonstop for 40 minutes. The other bikes are new high-tech machines with complicated computer systems that I am unable to conquer and which frustrate and enrage me if I try. This gym only has bikes even more intricate, baffling and intimidating than those in my gym.
Still, I find a bike beside a 30ish clean-cut looking black dude in a swank Nike sweat suit. His head is smothered in huge earphones as he bobs to music and keeps his eye on one of three large plasma TVs, where the great golfer Tiger Woods is close to another victory. There is a row of eight bikes in front, and behind us are stair-climbers, cross--country snow-walkers, treadmills, mountain climbers. Before us is a sprawling hive of lifters and heavers and stretchers.
Somehow I get the black dude to lower his earphones.
“Sorry to bother you,” I tell him. “But I can’t get this bike started. I’m computer ignorant and need somebody with skills to push a few buttons. I want to ride at one level only.”
“What level you want, pops? Uphill? Flat? Random? Manual? Stops an’ starts….”
“I’d like one speed, nonstop, no interruptions, no changes, brisk, but not too hard, use about a hundred calories every ten minutes and sweat out some booze.”
“Right on, dude.” He reaches across with his long arm and fingers and hits four or five buttons and tells me to start pedaling, and when I do it’s exactly the way I want it and I thank him and commence to work my crossword puzzle. The black dude replaces his headphones and re-sumes his pedaling, bobbing and eyeing Tiger Woods destroying a bunch of rich white guys at their sport.
Two rather attractive 30ish white women take the two bikes left on the other side of the black dude. Both wear ballcaps with pony tails jutting out from behind. Both are lean and trim and pretty, though they are marred by pinched stress lines at the sides of their mouths and creases at the foreheads. They are gabbing as they arrive, and continue gabbing as they climb onto their bikes. The gal with the pink cap, closest to the black dude, switches the golf channel on the TV to a food channel. The black dude instantly whips off his headset and turns to her. “What y’all doin’, turnin’ off Tiger?” he says.
Pink cap removes her headset. “We hate golf. I am not watchin’ that golf match. That’s why we’re here, my husband’s home watching it.” The other gal nods in accordance.
“Then move. I here first. I watchin’ the golf. Tiger my man.” He uses his channel selector to turn on the golf. Pink cap immediately changes it back to food. “Hey, what you doin’?”
“You can just move to another bike!” she says.
“Bullshit! I here first. YOU move to another bike!”
“There’s only one bike, and it’s on the end, and Judy’s ever there, and she watches FOX News.”
“Fox News? Shee-it!” he says.
The woman beside pink-cap, who wears a beige cap with a yacht club insignia on it, takes off her headset and addresses the black dude in a wheedling voice. “I prefer the cooking channel, too. Nobody here wants to watch golf.”
The black dude turns to me, headset on his neck. “What’cha wanna watch, pops? Faggots cookin’ fo’ bitches? Or Tiger?”
From my end bike, I have a poor view of the TV, never watch it. “Tiger,” I say. “I’m a big Tiger fan.”
“This dude here, he want Tiger, too,” he says, and switches on the golf match.
Pink cap jumps off her bike and marches to the front desk like a military general on the warpath. Nearby, folks on their machines are trying to ignore the dissension. I nod at the black dude as we both await the looming maelstrom. Yacht cap is already on her cellphone, reporting the situation to somebody that sounds like her husband.
Pink cap returns with a girl running the front desk. She is a sweet little thing of around 20 who is basically alone on what should be a slow Sunday, mostly checking people in and playing with her computer. She wears the cap and T-shirt of the establishment and has a fetching little ass and perfect breasts and a snub nose. As she stands here, Pink cap and Yacht cap commence carrying on about the unfairness of the black dude and his golf match, and before they can really get going he rips off his headset.
“I the min-ORRRITY!” he tells desk girl. “I always the minority. I here first, young lady. I got Tiger on and the golf. This woman, she turn it off, don’t ask me can she, just turn it off ‘cuz she don’t like Tiger. Well, I ain’t watchin’ faggots cookin’ fo’ bitches!”
Desk girl shrinks up, eyes rolling to the side. Her smooth, seamless face is thus far untouched by urban disputation and discord. The black dude, he’s fired up. At first, he seemed like an ex-college jock, mellow, loose, well-mannered, but now he’s taken on the ghetto visage and persona. Still, the two shrews beside him are undaunted. They’re bombarding the desk girl with a slew of paranoid bullshit, and she continues to shrink and cower.
“I ain’t liss’nin’ to this jive,” announces black dude. “And I ain’t movin’ off this bike.” He nods toward me. “My man an’ me, we watchin’ Tiger, ain’t we pops?”
I nod toward desk girl, issuing her a sickly smile. “One of the reasons I came in here today was so I could got my workout and watch Tiger on TV, too. It was that or watch Tiger in a bar and get drunk again like I did last night.”
“Right on, brothah,” says black dude and shows me five, and I have no choice but slap hands with him. “Pops want Tiger big time.”
The Fox News woman is now off her bike and joins the fray. Her hair is short, and she wears a ball cap with the logo of this establishment on it. “I’ve never seen you in here before,” she says to the black dude, issuing him a reptilian smile. “Are you a member?”
“I a guest!” he says resoundingly. “I got me a guest card from my bro’. He play fo’ the 49ers.”
“We’re all members here,” maintains Pink cap. “We are all long-time members of this health club, and members come first, I believe, is not that right, Brittany?” she asks desk girl.
“That bullshit!” black dude fumes, before desk girl can answer, “y’all prejudice against me ‘cuz I black, and you prejudice against Tiger ‘cuz he black. Y’all hate niggers.”
Suddenly the three women erupt and converge on the black dude in a ferocious squabble, defending themselves against his accusation, maintaining they are NOT prejudiced. They are furious, frothing, wild--eyed, paranoid, mouths serrated, irrational. Desk girl’s trapped and desperate, continues shrinking and cowering. Meanwhile, black dude has Tiger on again. “This ain’t no country club for white bitches,” black dude tells her. “This here a gym!”
When the three-woman squabble intensifies, he shouts them down.
“Y’all hate us niggers! That OK. I seen it all my life. Y’all hate Tiger ‘cuz he a black dude spank them white bloods. I ain’t movin’, I stayin’ an’ watchin’ Tiger. Y’all don’t like it, call the pigs. I call the ACLU.”
The ladies appear stymied by this threat. There might be a crack in their armor. Tough, determined, willful and entitled as they are, turf is turf, and black dudes do not back down and lose face, whether from the ghetto or not.
Meanwhile, my bike suddenly stops. I cannot get it started. Evidently it was only wired to run for 10 minutes, not 40. I don’t want to bother the black dude, though, because he’s got his hands full with the white women. Pink cap is now on her cellphone, getting in touch with her husband, perhaps a lawyer who can advise her on black dude’s threat of calling the ACLU and sticking her with a lawsuit for racial bias. She lowers the phone, and the three women confer, whispering, possibly attempting to come up with some new strategy with which to confront black dude, who has his eye on the TV.
They break apart and inform desk girl they are going to do some stretching in another room, but that tomorrow they will have a talk with the owner of the gym, a personal friend of theirs. Black dude and I watch them advance to another area of the gym, where they continue their confabulation, not stretching at all, occasionally glancing in our direction with baleful eyes.
Tiger sinks a long, crucial putt that more or less seals the deal. He, too, never gives up turf once he gets the upper hand. Bravo!
The black dude raises a fist in triumph as Tiger strides toward the next hole, as a massive, polite crowd gives him a huge ovation. The black dude lowers his open hand for me to slap, and I slap it resoundingly and say, “Hey, bro’, my bike fucked up. It just stopped. I need another 30 minutes on this motherfucker.”
He reaches over and hits a few buttons and I’m set again. §

Talmadge Jarrattee lives in Santa Cruz where he manages a homeless shelter and moonlights as a bartender. He can be reached through the editor at


At 6:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mr. Franklin,

While we found some of the language in your story offensive, we understand that it came from a character, and not you yourself. As a gay couple we could tell through your narrative that you were simply telling a story. And it was such a funny one! Unfortunately, at our gym in San Luis Obispo, we are sometimes confronted with the same overweening, controlling type of women that your character on the bike was. They are always going around and trying to bully people off of their favorite machines or changing the TV or the air conditioning, and they always seem to have husbands of some prominence. We loved your story.

Gary and Bruce

At 12:06 PM, Blogger stacey said...

i suspect gary and bruce have their own agenda, not unlike the one that duane hagabee will attempt to push in future editions of the rogue voice…

At 10:54 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi !.
might , perhaps very interested to know how one can manage to receive high yields .
There is no initial capital needed You may begin earning with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

AimTrust is what you haven`t ever dreamt of such a chance to become rich
The company incorporates an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

It is based in Panama with structures everywhere: In USA, Canada, Cyprus.
Do you want to become a happy investor?
That`s your choice That`s what you desire!

I`m happy and lucky, I began to take up real money with the help of this company,
and I invite you to do the same. It`s all about how to select a correct companion who uses your money in a right way - that`s it!.
I take now up to 2G every day, and what I started with was a funny sum of 500 bucks!
It`s easy to start , just click this link
and lucky you`re! Let`s take this option together to get rid of nastiness of the life

At 7:25 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You may probably be very interested to know how one can manage to receive high yields on investments.
There is no initial capital needed.
You may begin to get income with a money that usually goes
on daily food, that's 20-100 dollars.
I have been participating in one project for several years,
and I'm ready to share my secrets at my blog.

Please visit my pages and send me private message to get the info.

P.S. I make 1000-2000 per day now. [url=]Online Investment Blog[/url]

At 9:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=]стоимость ремонта квартиры в москве[/url] Реставрация и отделка помещений, комнат или загородных домов – это насущная на сегодняшний день проблема большинства людей, решившихся, наконец, отремонтировать свой офис. Мало того, что ремонт – это занятие трудоемкое и напряженное, еще и найти достойную компанию, занимающуюся отделкой квартир или домов сейчас практически нельзя. Дело в том, что все меньше и меньше в Москве есть фирм, делающих свою работу качественно, эффективно и недорого. [url=]отделка потолков в квартире[/url]
Однако наша организация является приятным исключением из этого неприятного правила. Мы вот уже несколько лет занимается ремонтом офисов, комнат, дач и еще ни разу нам не приходило от наших клиентов ни неприятных отзывов, ни каких-либо жалоб. [url=]дизайн квартиры 35 м[/url] Большой опыт наших специалистов, а также высокий профессионализм всех без исключения наших работников, поможет сделать хорошо, качественно и – главное - доступно как косметический, так и капитальный ремонт. [url=]дизайн квартиры 60 кв м[/url] Современное оборудование, новые технологии планировки и дизайна, а также индивидуальный подход к каждому клиенту и гибкая система скидок сделали нашу организацию самой успешной на сегодня организацией, оказывающей услуги ремонту и отделке офисов, квартир или загородных домов. [url=]квартиры под отделку[/url]
[url=]ремонт квартир[/url] [url=]ремонт квартиры[/url]

At 6:21 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Aw, this was an incгеdibly goοd рost.
Ѕрendіng somе time and actual effort to
make a goоd article… but what can I ѕay… I procrastinate a wholе lot anԁ neѵеr seem to
gеt anything done.

My ωeb blog ... same day payday loans
Here is my blog same day payday loans

At 7:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think thе admin of this web page is trulу working hard in support of his sіte, аѕ hеre еvеry materiаl
is quality baseԁ information.
Also visit my blog post : Loans for Bad Credit

At 12:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thіnκ this is оne of the most vital
infoгmation for me. And i am satiѕfieԁ rеading уour аrticle.
But wannа observatіon on some normal thіngs, The
websіtе ѕtуle is wοnԁerful, the articleѕ is tгuly greаt :
D. Excellent aсtіvity, cheегs
Feel free to visit my website

At 10:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm impressed, I must say. Seldom do I come across a blog that'ѕ equally eԁucatіѵе and intereѕting,
and lеt me tеll yоu, you haѵе hіt
thе nail on the heaԁ. The ρгoblеm iѕ something toο feω folkѕ are spеаκing intelligentlу аbout.

Nοω i'm very happy I came across this during my search for something relating to this.
my website > loans for bad credit

At 11:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmm it ѕeеmѕ liκe
your ѕitе ate my first cοmment (it
ωaѕ eхtrеmеly long) so I guess Ӏ'll just sum it up what I had written and say, I'm thoroughlу enjоying
youг blog. I toо аm аn аspiring blog
writer but I'm still new to everything. Do you have any suggestions for novice blog writers? I'ԁ reаlly appreciate it.
Feel free to visit my web-site : loans for bad credit

At 10:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's actually a nice and useful piece of information. I'm satisfiеԁ that you sharеԁ thiѕ hеlpful infoгmation with us.

Please keep us uр to datе liκе this.

Thanks for shаring.

Ѕtop by mу blog post ... keyword

At 2:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Nіce post. I waѕ checking constantlу this blog
and I'm impressed! Very useful info particularly the last part :) I care for such info a lot. I was seeking this particular info for a long time. Thank you and best of luck.

Visit my website - one month loan

At 10:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's perfect time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy. I have read this post and if I could I desire to suggest you some interesting things or suggestions. Maybe you can write next articles referring to this article. I desire to read more things about it!

Have a look at my homepage - payday loans

At 3:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ні there, I enjoу reаding all of youг аrtіcle.

I wanted to writе a lіttle comment to ѕupport you.

Feel free to visit my blog ... quick loans
my web site - quick loans

At 2:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I needed to thank you for thiѕ grеat read!
! I absolutеly enjoyed еveгу little bit of it.
I have got уou bοok marked to
cheсκ out new things you post…

my wеbsite - instant cash loans
My site > instant cash loans

At 4:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Today, I went to the beach with my kids. I found a sea shell and
gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said "You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear." She put the shell to her ear
and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear.
She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is totally off
topic but I had to tell someone!

My webpage - laser stretch mark removal

At 9:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I feel this is among the such a lot important information for me.
And i'm glad reading your article. However wanna statement on few basic things, The website taste is great, the articles is actually great : D. Just right process, cheers

Have a look at my blog post ::

At 6:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello! Do you know if they make any plugins to help with Search Engine Optimization?

I'm trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I'm not seeing very good success.
If you know of any please share. Appreciate

Here is my weblog

At 9:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you wish for to improve your knowledge simply keep visiting this
web site and be updated with the most recent information posted here.

Also visit my web blog; buy solar panels in chennai

At 7:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I relish, lead to I discovered just what I was taking a look for.

You've ended my 4 day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a great day. Bye

Here is my page -

At 12:20 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Have you ever considered publishing an ebook or guest authoring on other
blogs? I have a blog centered on the same topics you discuss and would love to have you share some stories/information.
I know my audience would enjoy your work. If you're even remotely interested, feel free to send me an email.

Feel free to surf to my blog post ... ranger forum

At 12:02 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

(handpick) Fan Tingyu of difficult gain of 400 thousand dollar laughs at gravelstone Buddha to weichi everyday chess 10 hours
Hua Aoxing empty Shanghai on March 7 report (reporter Li Xu) the hand is holding pot in both hands, stand on red carpet, a pair of calm and easy manner still is on Fan Tingyu's face. Spot emcee evaluates: "Difficult rich laughs at the bonus of 400 thousand dollar and champion pot, ' teenager Shi Fo ' be worthy of. " tonight, the 7th answers prize-giving celebration of [url=]cheap jordans for sale[/url] tounament of go of profession of world of family name cup is held in Shanghai. In the final that battle stopped yesterday, hard gold of the court of a feudal ruler of Chinese young general model with 3 beat Korea player Piao Tinghuan than the total score of 1, carry off champion. This is afterwards of Chinese chess player carry off again after Chang Hao should family name cup, fan Tingyu becomes China's youngest go world champion with 16 years old of ages of 7 0 months. Because raise one's hand casts wind of full a draw in chess or other board games to resemble young the Li Changgao when, xiaofan had in Chinese chess bound " teenager Shi Fo " beautiful praise. The match yesterday receives an official, other people numerates very hard from his face who does win to be defeated, of one night lie between, when holding the pot of heavy in both hands in the hand, xiaofan or that pair not the expression that Bei is not fond of -- exceed the maturity of the age and sedate be chess altar elder people the impression to him. "Often can put forward and the coach's opposite view, this is very marvelous to child of 16 years old, he has his mature idea. " the name discloses south Su Wangru. The means that Yu Bin of national group total coach prepares for war about him is to become the heat in current match process to discuss more. Original, move before division Shanghai, yu Bin specially enquires whether Fan Tingyu needs to accompany practice, fan Tingyu says not to need, ask whether he needs the collective help of national group again, overrule again, this lets Yu Bin sigh with emotion very, "Ace should have his individual character namely. " Fan Tingyu unlike of 16 years is the same as the age paragraph longing is full of to the world outside like a lot of youths, should be asked about " play chess " whether be only interest when, his truly ponders answer, "Such really " . Each days, his flower is in in the time on chessboard 10 hours left and right sides. After the final yesterday passes, he hopes: "Should the champion of family name cup can make a new starting point. " should tounament of go of profession of world of family name cup the contest of individual of world profession go that by Chinese Taiwan businessman Ying Chang period established 1987. First match only then 1988, undertake 4 every years, it is the match of world profession go with championship top prize, championship prize 400 thousand dollar, runner-up bonus 100 thousand dollar, by what go bound calls world chess altar " the Olympic Games " .

At 3:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

[url=]перголы в саду фото[/url]
[url=]готовые недорого перголы[/url]

Устали от постоянного солнца, но при этом не хотите постоянно пребывать в доме? Кроме того, согласитесь, совсем неприятно, если еще и пойдет дождь,
В наши дни очень большой любовью пользуются так называемые маркизы, которые сможете купить на нашем сайте ресурсе. Это надежные тенты, которые можно повесить на улице, а также их устанавливают для дач и загородных коттеджей, ведь их быстро натягивать, пользоваться такими маркизами очень удобно. Такие небольшие тенты, габариты которых вы сможете выбирать самостоятельно, защищают не только от самих палящих изнуряющих лучей, но и от их излучения, так что теперь на природе за столиком вам будет очень комфортно, прохладно.
Есть только две проблемы, которые заставят его сложить обратно: либо очень сильный ветер, либо ливень.
На нашем портале вы без труда сможете найти нужный вам товар, стоит просто выбрать товар то, что вам подходит, исходя из различных характеристик. Естественно, свои вопросы вы сможете задавать и консультантам, которые обязательно помогут определить тот вариант, который нужен. Основные плюсы таких товаров в том, что они легко трансформируются, подвергаются перевозке и непосредственно устанавливаются в любом нужном месте.

[url=]установка маркиз[/url]
[url=]перголы садовые металл купить[/url]


Post a Comment

<< Home