Rogue of the month: Ilan Funke-Bilu

‘Our vice president being too high-handed to go before a jury is, to me, the beginning of fascism, and might well lead to fascism.’

‘I fight with my tongue and my brain and my instincts, and my knowledge of the Constitution.’

Though his physical stature could be intimidating, and at least imposing, it is his presence that puts you on the alert, but also puts you at ease.



Photo by Stacey Warde

Ilan Funke-Bilu: Courtroom warrior

And a mensch among men


By Dell Franklin


In this lowkey, very waspy neck of the woods, Ilan Funke-Bilu is as different as his name, a breed of man who, as a defense lawyer, “goes to war” for his clients. It is a job he takes so seriously, and prepares for so diligently that he feels, in some sense, that it affects his family life.
“I’d like to say I’m as successful a family man as I am a defense lawyer,” he says, as we sit out on the sunny terrace of his law office in San Luis Obispo. “But I’m not. I’m a good family man, don’t get me wrong, but the time I put in, the dedication, it does limit my time with my family.”
“Well,” I say, as Ilan stretches out and props up his feet, smoking a fragrant stogie, dressed in old sweat pants, polo shirt and ball cap, “you’ve got a reputation for success, for being in demand, for taking on tough cases, and defending a lot of drug-related cases…what is your secret to success?”
“Work, work, work. Look, here it is a Sunday afternoon, and I’m at my office, getting ready for a case. I’m psyching myself up. I’m going to war.”
“Do your wife and kids have a sense when you’re going to war?”
“They feel it. I’m like a boxer training for a big fight. Only I don’t fight with my fists. I fight with my tongue and my brain and my instincts, and my knowledge of the Constitution.”
Ilan is a big man, very long, around 6-4, who played baseball and basketball in high school. Though his physical stature could be intimidating, and at least imposing, it is his presence that puts you on the alert, but also puts you at ease. He is a man who affects other peoples’ lives and he takes this role to heart. There is to his makeup a unique distinction that could possibly derive from his origins—an Israeli citizen until he was 8, then moved to New York City, returning to Israel to live on a kibbutz one summer years later. Since its inception, Israel has been at war, back against the wall, always on edge and the aggressor who strikes first. For Ilan, surviving in New York helped him develop his own edge, his propensity to take on daunting challenges, as well as controversial ones, in the courtroom.
“What was New York like?”
“It was tough, but educational, good preparation for the world. My dad even had a little store in Harlem, and I helped him out there.”
“What did he sell?” He grins. “Schmattas” [A Yiddish term for rags].
“Were you one of those Jewish boys who grew up wanting to be a lawyer?”
“No. My mother wanted me to be a lawyer. My dad died when I was twenty, and my mother offered to pay my way through college if I studied law.”
“What do you like about being a lawyer?”
He puffs that stogie. “The courtroom brawl.”
“Some lawyers have reputations for ripping people off,” I say, “getting a piece of everything. Some people hate lawyers, make nasty jokes about what sharks they are.”
“You can say the same thing about doctors, or car salesmen,” Ilan responds. “The reason people get bad reputations is because they let down their clients, screw up. There are positions where a life can be affected and taken advantage of. You can say the same about most professions.”
“I’ve heard you like to take on cases for underdogs without much money.”
He perks up. “I take cases for money, too! But I also like to help people who feel there’s nobody out there to help them. There’s a lot of satisfaction in getting a ‘not guilty.’ It reinforces my faith in our Constitution, which I put right up there with the Torah as a great document. I’ve got to hand it to the goyim, they probably created one of the best pieces of work ever produced. Sometimes, in a case, the Constitution is all I have to go against a state that has infinite resources to get your guy. These kinds of odds make it difficult, and not that many lawyers go in for defense, because it’s a brawl, and you’ve got to feel it. When I go to war, it’s not some-thing I can turn on and off, and a jury always feels it when I’m fighting for my client.”
“How do you feel when you lose?”
He takes several long puffs on his cigar, really savoring it. “I don’t think I really lose. I’m fearful of losing, which is why I prepare so hard.”
“Is there a big rush when you win a big case, a really tough case when the odds are stacked so a victory seems impossible?”
“I wouldn’t use the word ‘rush.’ I don’t gloat. That’s not what the Constitution is all about. I never get too low or too high, but I feel a sense of satisfaction in upholding our Constitution.”
“So you don’t celebrate—even when your client is overwhelmed with gratitude for you keeping them out of jail?”
“I’ll sit back and smoke a cigar and drink a fine scotch.”
“What kind of cigars and scotch?”
“Cuban cigars if I can get ‘em. I usually drink Dalmore, but my favorite is Bruichladdich.”
“How would you feel about defending somebody accused of a violent crime, someone you knew was a bad guy on a high-profile case? A person you suspected of being guilty?”
“I’ve never had a case like that.”
“OK. Take O.J. Simpson. Did you believe, before the case was tried, that he was guilty?”
“Yes.”
“Would you have defended him?”
“Yes.”
“Would you have felt bad had you gotten him off?”
“Probably.”
“You’ve defended a lot of drug cases. What do you think about legalizing drugs?”
“They should all be legalized. It would take away a substantial amount of my business, and reduce the need for police, judges and D.A.s. Seventy to eighty per cent of all crimes are drug-related, and not just about dealing and using. Bad checks, domestic violence, theft—almost all crimes can be related to drugs. But the biggest drug dealers in the country are the pharmaceutical corporations. People can get anything they want.”
“A lot of people who are incarcerated for small drug felonies are victims of the three strikes rule, putting a person away for life after a third strike, no matter how petty the crime. What do you think about that rule?”
“All in all, it’s not a good thing. It leads to overcrowding in prisons, budgetary problems in Sacramento. It does not address the underlying problems—economics, housing, education, the basics. Philosophically, nobody feels any safer today anymore than they did before the three strikes law was enacted.”
“Do you think California’s prison system has become a prison industry?”
“You could say so. What concerns me is a developing mentality to take a bite out of crime by building more prisons and locking up more people as quickly as possible and throwing away the key.”
“Not to mention a powerful prison guards’ union.”
“Could be the most powerful union in the country.”
“What about prison rehabilitation?”
“There is no rehabilitation right now. The only successful rehabs are those individuals able to rehab themselves despite the prison system. Right now, in Sacramento, they’re trying to expand the rehab system, because they realize this current one is a failure. The big problem is that the entire philosophy of creating prisons has taken on a psyche of locking people up and leaving them there, and it does nothing to deter crime.”
“Would you ever consider being a judge?”
“No. Never.”
“Why?”
“I’m not the type of lawyer meant to be a judge. Being a judge means submitting to a different canon. I could not talk to you the way I am now if I was a judge. You have to be impartial, especially about your political and social opinions. Too much invasion of your privacy. Too many rules. I don’t want any more rules. I’d rather eliminate rules.”
“What do you think of our current government, and the administration in the White House?”
“I don’t think many people feel good about our government these days—even Republicans. The recent Libby verdict teaches us that the president and vice president think they’re above the law. And I think they deliberately mocked the Constitution. Our vice president being too high-handed to go before a jury is, to me, the beginning of fascism, and might well lead to fascism. This Libby case is worse than Watergate. Watergate was about criminals. This is about lies. Libby used the justice system to pursue a political agenda. He had his marching orders. If he was a good lawyer, a man of the Consti-tution, like he was supposed to be, he would have stood up against the VP. Even a good soldier will stand up against orders he knows are against the law.”
“Is our system salvageable at this point?”
“Hell yes. Because we’ve got a great Constitution. You take a lawyer like this Fitzgerald, who convicted Libby. You never saw him smiling like a Cheshire cat during or after the Libby trial, like this guy Wells, who defended Libby. This was just flaunting the law. What pissed me off the most, after this verdict, was Bush. He said, ‘I feel bad for Mr. Libby and his family.’ Libby and his family are a pimple compared to the country. What Bush should have said is, ‘I feel bad for this country’!”
Ilan’s stogie was just about gone, but he seemed to be having a good time, despite the fact he needed to get back to work on this Sunday afternoon. Still, I needed to ask one more question.
“You’ve got dual citizenship—Israeli and American—and you’re bilingual, so that half your heart must be in Israel. How do you feel about what is going on over there?”
He is slow to answer, seems troubled. “Hezbollah, as currently constituted,” he says finally, shaking his head, “they are no good for this region, and especially for Lebanon. They’re an extension of Syria and Iran, and it’s too bad, because Lebanon was once a very prosperous country. The situation with Palestine and much of the Middle East is the same old story—lack of jobs, economic opportunity, quality of life. Unless things get better for the people who have nothing, and nothing to look forward to and live for, they will keep blowing them-selves up so they can go to a better place and sleep with virgins.” He puffs some smoke. “This is a tough one for me. I can’t be objective. I’m too close to Israel.”
“Do you think the entire region will continue on its path unless the Israeli-Palestinian situation is resolved, like Bill Clinton says?”
“Probably so.”
“Is there any hope?”
“There has to be."
There is a Yiddish term for a man who takes care of his family and business, looks out for his peers, challenges bullies, and stands out among other men: A “mensch.” §

Meet some of our previously featured "rogues" here:

Mandy Davis

Casimir Pulaski

Jim Ruddell

Steve Tross

Lori Lynn Melton

Long John Gallagher

Billy Hales

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